Today on the blog I’m interviewing my good friend and fellow Elder, Jayson Masters. I call him J for short, others call him Jay, and the female population refers to him frequently as Oh God. He had an excellent teacher, ladies. Me.
B: Welcome to my blog. Please introduce yourself to the internet.
J: Hi “internet”. I’m Jayson, call me Jay. Oh, they know about us right?
B: We’ve had the immortals exist conversation, yes.
J: Cool. So yeah, I’m a Hydraian, one of the oldest, known as an Elder here on the island, and I have a few interesting talents that extend well to the bedroom.
B: Excellent segue. Shall we get started with the basics?
J: Yup. Hit me with it.
B: Favorite position?
J: Any and all of the above.
B: Of course, but if you had to choose one, what would it be?
J: I should be allowed to choose two, but to make you happy, I’ll go with the curled angel. Women seem to love it.
B: Hmm, yes, I’m picturing a ménage à trois in that position. Definitely perfect for a man who can be in two places at once. But moving on from that fantasy, describe your ideal bed partner.
J: The three F’s: Flexible, fun and fanciful.
B: Femme fatale?
B: Any particular look you prefer over others?
J: I’m a sucker for a hot redhead.
B: I know a few.
J: Let me rephrase. A hot redhead you haven’t taken to bed.
B: Yes, I would worry about me as competition as well, but back to the task at hand, favorite food in bed?
J: I don’t consider you competition and pizza.
B: With a response like that, I can see why you don’t consider me competition. I’m clearly way beyond your league. Pizza, J?
J: I believe you’re the one who says all food can be sexy if you apply it right.
B: And I stand by that rule, but come on man, any food in bed and you pick pizza?
J: Okay, more specifically, man pizza.
B: I don’t even know what to do with that. Last question. Ideal date? And do not say an Italian restaurant or I will send you back to training school.
J: You wish you could send me back, and Rome is the perfect locale for a date. Excluding that, my ideal date would be at home. A romantic dinner and wine in close proximity to the pool and my bedroom. Perfect for any activity she’s into, dessert included.
B: You would probably make pizza.
J: Dude, you love my homemade pizza.
B: I don’t want it in my bed.
J: Because you’re clearly not doing it right.
B: Yeah, next time I’m interviewing Luc. He’s far more inventive.
J: He’ll just say waffles.
B: Yes, and syrup is a delicious bed component.
J: I won’t argue that.
B: Good. At least we agree on something. By the way, I’m posting that picture of you and Clara from Wakefield’s gala last year. It’s hot and I like it more than your pool profile photo.
J: Still can’t find one of me shirtless?
B: Oh I have several, but I like a little mystery.
And Ladies, just a hint, you’ll love what’s beneath the clothes.
That’s all for now, friends. Until next time, misbehave and indulge in your deepest desires. Post pictures.