Let’s Party

Dearest Internet Friends,

I do apologize for my lax in posting. Things in Hydria have required my focus to shift elsewhere lately, but I’m back, and ready to party. And I do mean that quite literally.

Jacque and I discussed a fabulous idea earlier today. Two words: Beach rave.

You might be wondering how we came to this conclusion. Well, I’m here to enlighten you. Teaching is my strength, after all.

First, a beach is the perfect party location because clothing is optional. Rolling waves provide a certain seductive element, and the low hanging moon and stars adds an additional layer of romance for those who require it.

Second, rhythmic sounds insight lust. The heavier the better, and electronic dance music, or EDM, is notorious for its hypnotic beats. The right music creates a heady atmosphere that translates well to the bedroom, inspiring all manner of fantasies and indecent thoughts. Trust me, as a mind reader, that last part is more than true.

Third, see the items above, and imagine an erotic gathering in Hydria with several hundred semi-clad immortals. Mmm, delicious.

Have I painted a picture? Because that’s our agenda for tonight. I just need to find a few important items before we begin. Jacque is teleporting in the sound equipment, lights, body paint, and edible items. My list includes essential oils, two scarves, some rope, and a bucket. I’d go into more detail, but you’re not ready yet. One day, my internet friends, one day.

That’s all for now, but I promise to check in again soon. I’m thinking another interview with one of my fellow Hydraians, or maybe I’ll track down Wakefield for a few comments. They might not be from his mouth so much as his mind, but they’ll be interesting nonetheless.

Later loves,


Let the party begin…





Introducing Jayson Masters

Hello There,

Today on the blog I’m interviewing my good friend and fellow Elder, Jayson Masters.  I call him J for short, others call him Jay, and the female population refers to him frequently as Oh God.  He had an excellent teacher, ladies.  Me.

B:  Welcome to my blog.  Please introduce yourself to the internet.

J:  Hi “internet”.  I’m Jayson, call me Jay.  Oh, they know about us right?

B:  We’ve had the immortals exist conversation, yes.

J:  Cool.  So yeah, I’m a Hydraian, one of the oldest, known as an Elder here on the island, and I have a few interesting talents that extend well to the bedroom.

B:  Excellent segue.  Shall we get started with the basics?

J:  Yup.  Hit me with it.

B:  Favorite position?

J:  Any and all of the above.

B:  Of course, but if you had to choose one, what would it be?

J:  I should be allowed to choose two, but to make you happy, I’ll go with the curled angel. Women seem to love it.

B:  Hmm, yes, I’m picturing a ménage à trois in that position.  Definitely perfect for a man who can be in two places at once.  But moving on from that fantasy, describe your ideal bed partner.

J:  The three F’s: Flexible, fun and fanciful.

B:  Femme fatale?

J:  Obviously.

B:  Any particular look you prefer over others?

J:  I’m a sucker for a hot redhead.

B:  I know a few.

J:  Let me rephrase.  A hot redhead you haven’t taken to bed.

B:  Yes, I would worry about me as competition as well, but back to the task at hand, favorite food in bed?

J:  I don’t consider you competition and pizza.

B:  With a response like that, I can see why you don’t consider me competition.  I’m clearly way beyond your league.  Pizza, J?

J:  I believe you’re the one who says all food can be sexy if you apply it right.

B:  And I stand by that rule, but come on man, any food in bed and you pick pizza?

J:  Okay, more specifically, man pizza.

B:  I don’t even know what to do with that.  Last question.  Ideal date?  And do not say an Italian restaurant or I will send you back to training school.

J:  You wish you could send me back, and Rome is the perfect locale for a date.  Excluding that, my ideal date would be at home.  A romantic dinner and wine in close proximity to the pool and my bedroom.  Perfect for any activity she’s into, dessert included.

B:  You would probably make pizza.

J:  Dude, you love my homemade pizza.

B:  I don’t want it in my bed.

J:  Because you’re clearly not doing it right.

B:  Yeah, next time I’m interviewing Luc.  He’s far more inventive.

J:  He’ll just say waffles.

B:  Yes, and syrup is a delicious bed component.

J:  I won’t argue that.

B:  Good.  At least we agree on something.  By the way, I’m posting that picture of you and Clara from Wakefield’s gala last year.  It’s hot and I like it more than your pool profile photo.

J:  Still can’t find one of me shirtless?

B:  Oh I have several, but I like a little mystery.

And Ladies, just a hint, you’ll love what’s beneath the clothes.

That’s all for now, friends.  Until next time, misbehave and indulge in your deepest desires.  Post pictures.



Ungrateful CEOs

Oh Hello,

Deep apologies to my internet friends for the delay in posting.  Halloween in Hydria is a busy time.  Our celebrations start the week before and go well into the days following.  It’s a fantastic time of year filled with scandalous costumes, mischievous behavior and sinful delights.  My sexy pirate costume didn’t last long, which was of course the purpose, but next year I’m going to include more fabric in my design.  It can be oh so useful in the bedroom when entertaining multiple parties and there just wasn’t enough to go around this year.  I blame Ash.  Her proclivity for fire destroyed a perfectly good blindfold.

As is tradition, I ventured to New York City after the holidays to visit my favorite Ichorian.  I stopped by Wakefield Pharmaceuticals first to chat with a certain CEO, but he was stuck in meetings.  So I took it upon myself to entertain his receptionist.  The poor girl’s thoughts radiated a frustration that required a personal touch I quickly granted.  And wouldn’t you know her ungrateful CEO of a boss frowned upon it?  I mean, it’s not my fault the woman didn’t have her own private office.  I used what was available, which happened to be the vacant executive suite.  The gratitude I expected for my efforts turned into a chastisement that was truly unbecoming of a man in power.

This brings me to my advice for today:  Give your receptionist an office.  She works hard, deals with a variety of moods and assignments, and deserves a few moments of pleasure and relaxation during the work day in the peace of her own space.  If you don’t grant her this small comfort, then don’t blame others when she uses your vacant office to seek what she desperately needs.

After my unfortunate visit with the ungrateful ass of a CEO, I spent the afternoon and evening with more understanding company.  There were several new locals to explore and Tristan was the man to show me the ropes.  I captured the below photo of him after one of the clubs.  He lost his shirt to a redhead and opted to leave it as a souvenir because that’s what a gentleman does.  If only certain CEOs could be as well mannered as Tristan.  Ah, well, we’ll get there one day.

That’s all for now, loves.  Enjoy your week and I’ll be in touch very soon.

<3 B

Tristan a.k.a. My Favorite Ichorian

The Internet Is Fabulous

To whoever created the internet: I love you.  No seriously, I really do.  Feel free to look me up.  I’m Balthazar, friends call me B.  I live on the island of Hydria off the coast of Greece.  I’m available anytime and I will make it worth your while.  Trust me.  Bring friends.  I can be very accommodating.

Now where was I?  Ah right, blogging.

Jacque introduced me to this notion of keeping an internet diary recently.  He started one for his travel agency.  It’s interesting, but let’s be real.  People come to the internet for sex and if there is anyone on this earth who is equipped to bestow knowledge of the sexual arts, it’s me.  Have you heard of Bacchus?  Horny God (pun intended)?  That was me, minus the horns.  The Greeks called me Dionysus.  God of wine and festivity, also known as a good time.  A fantastic era that we’ll revisit another time.  The stories I could tell might break the internet.

As you may have guessed, I’m immortal.  Forever frozen at the age of thirty something for thousands of years.  I know what you’re thinking: That’s impossible!  Jay said the same thing when I told him about my plans for the Mariinsky Ballet a few years back.  I’ll tell you what I told him then:  Imagination is a powerful tool.  Just let it guide you and you’ll be amazed at what you can achieve.

By the way, I auditioned and performed for two years.  And I’m not just talking about on stage.

So yeah, immortality is real.  Feel free to visit Hydria for proof.  I recommend the evening hours.  Last ferry goes to the mainland around 5pm.  That’s when the party starts.  Speaking of, it’s about that time now.

I’ll end our session today with lesson one in the world of B.  Gentleman, always offer breakfast.  It’s an important meal, it usually ends in a very thankful bed partner, and it can be used creatively.  Think maple syrup and warm butter.  Both delicious, edible, and natural lubricants.  Enjoy friends.

Until next time…