To whoever created the internet: I love you. No seriously, I really do. Feel free to look me up. I’m Balthazar, friends call me B. I live on the island of Hydria off the coast of Greece. I’m available anytime and I will make it worth your while. Trust me. Bring friends. I can be very accommodating.
Now where was I? Ah right, blogging.
Jacque introduced me to this notion of keeping an internet diary recently. He started one for his travel agency. It’s interesting, but let’s be real. People come to the internet for sex and if there is anyone on this earth who is equipped to bestow knowledge of the sexual arts, it’s me. Have you heard of Bacchus? Horny God (pun intended)? That was me, minus the horns. The Greeks called me Dionysus. God of wine and festivity, also known as a good time. A fantastic era that we’ll revisit another time. The stories I could tell might break the internet.
As you may have guessed, I’m immortal. Forever frozen at the age of thirty something for thousands of years. I know what you’re thinking: That’s impossible! Jay said the same thing when I told him about my plans for the Mariinsky Ballet a few years back. I’ll tell you what I told him then: Imagination is a powerful tool. Just let it guide you and you’ll be amazed at what you can achieve.
By the way, I auditioned and performed for two years. And I’m not just talking about on stage.
So yeah, immortality is real. Feel free to visit Hydria for proof. I recommend the evening hours. Last ferry goes to the mainland around 5pm. That’s when the party starts. Speaking of, it’s about that time now.
I’ll end our session today with lesson one in the world of B. Gentleman, always offer breakfast. It’s an important meal, it usually ends in a very thankful bed partner, and it can be used creatively. Think maple syrup and warm butter. Both delicious, edible, and natural lubricants. Enjoy friends.
Until next time…